I'm currently reconstructing my website/blogs and therefore the blog looks abit random and not organized well. I'll probably close this blog once everything is set up on my website.
Until then, thanks for reading...some are from my old blog, just putting them up here for now. ;)
2011年1月24日月曜日
The things that last
This was originally written on June 28, 2008
Since I moved back to Japan last summer, some things inside me changed drastically while some remained the same. Tokyo is really a strange place, not necessarily like how it's described in "Lost in Translation" movie, but maybe a little bit....
You get on a subway at 8, which is like the worst time of the day to catch a train. While Japanese people are very sensitive to their personal space, nobody seems to care about the "personal space" on the train. Your boobs smashed against someone else's arm, back, people don't even act uncomfortable.
Ok, you get off the train, everybody tries to beat everyone else on the stairs/escalators. People have no expression on their face, which still is a big mystery to me to this day. Here many people look like robots; no smile, no thank you, no joke, no laugh. Of course not everyone, but many.
At least more than 3 or maybe lot more trains stop because someone jumps in front of the train and commit suicide. Things you hear is not a word of sympathy. Rather, you hear "Oh again?" "Oh please, I'm gonna be late" "Wish they'd die somewhere else" not many people verbalize but for sure people care a lot more about them getting to the office on time than the fact someone was suffering so much enough to jump in front of the train, and the deceased person's family owes 20 million yen (200 thousand dollars) for clean ups.
I had been struggling with some things and purposely stopped going to church. I went maybe once a month or every other month. I chose being alone and struggle alone. I chose the suffering over love. I denied comfort, warmth, love, restoration, deliverance, and sometimes the truth God offered. It has been the most painful days of my life. I was cutting my hair without even realizing. I just wanted to disappear before committing any more sins against God. God, on the other hand, never took my life away even when I pleaded with all my heart. He always told me Jesus took all my sins, and today I must live according to His purpose.
Some time passed. I began to think, or realize should I say, that the main reason so many Japanese people commit suicide every year, which number has been increasing every year, is lack of community. There is no community people can rest, share, be true to one another, love, and to be loved. I recall the short time I was in Hawaii. The people I was with were just incredible. I can't even describe how sincere and genuine they were. The true family, the true community surrounded me and loved me, and they were so close to each other. There was no need of worrying being judged. There was no need of worrying being betrayed.
Christian or not Christian, God has intended human to live among communities. Nobody can take this pain by herself. This world is too harsh and complicated to live alone. Boyfriend/ girlfriend isn't enough, acquaintance and co-workers aren't enough. Everyone needs "family" that loves him/her unconditionally, and feeling the need for the community isn't a sign of weakness. It's 100% human to desire for the community. It doesn't have to have a name "Community Group" or "Life Group" or whatever (I don't have anything against them at all), but here in this nation, we do, need to realize and rebuild the community we have abandoned.
Since I moved back to Japan last summer, some things inside me changed drastically while some remained the same. Tokyo is really a strange place, not necessarily like how it's described in "Lost in Translation" movie, but maybe a little bit....
You get on a subway at 8, which is like the worst time of the day to catch a train. While Japanese people are very sensitive to their personal space, nobody seems to care about the "personal space" on the train. Your boobs smashed against someone else's arm, back, people don't even act uncomfortable.
Ok, you get off the train, everybody tries to beat everyone else on the stairs/escalators. People have no expression on their face, which still is a big mystery to me to this day. Here many people look like robots; no smile, no thank you, no joke, no laugh. Of course not everyone, but many.
At least more than 3 or maybe lot more trains stop because someone jumps in front of the train and commit suicide. Things you hear is not a word of sympathy. Rather, you hear "Oh again?" "Oh please, I'm gonna be late" "Wish they'd die somewhere else" not many people verbalize but for sure people care a lot more about them getting to the office on time than the fact someone was suffering so much enough to jump in front of the train, and the deceased person's family owes 20 million yen (200 thousand dollars) for clean ups.
I had been struggling with some things and purposely stopped going to church. I went maybe once a month or every other month. I chose being alone and struggle alone. I chose the suffering over love. I denied comfort, warmth, love, restoration, deliverance, and sometimes the truth God offered. It has been the most painful days of my life. I was cutting my hair without even realizing. I just wanted to disappear before committing any more sins against God. God, on the other hand, never took my life away even when I pleaded with all my heart. He always told me Jesus took all my sins, and today I must live according to His purpose.
Some time passed. I began to think, or realize should I say, that the main reason so many Japanese people commit suicide every year, which number has been increasing every year, is lack of community. There is no community people can rest, share, be true to one another, love, and to be loved. I recall the short time I was in Hawaii. The people I was with were just incredible. I can't even describe how sincere and genuine they were. The true family, the true community surrounded me and loved me, and they were so close to each other. There was no need of worrying being judged. There was no need of worrying being betrayed.
Christian or not Christian, God has intended human to live among communities. Nobody can take this pain by herself. This world is too harsh and complicated to live alone. Boyfriend/ girlfriend isn't enough, acquaintance and co-workers aren't enough. Everyone needs "family" that loves him/her unconditionally, and feeling the need for the community isn't a sign of weakness. It's 100% human to desire for the community. It doesn't have to have a name "Community Group" or "Life Group" or whatever (I don't have anything against them at all), but here in this nation, we do, need to realize and rebuild the community we have abandoned.
Repost>same but not quite
i've seen, people raising hands, wishing for the best of others.
i've seen, people shedding tears, hurting for the people they've never met.
i've seen, the hands reached out, to help the ones in need, without asking anything in return.
i've seen, the tears falling, for the pain of seeking the truth was getting too much.
i've seen, people that are just as sincere, just as humble, just as broken, just as loving, just as honest, just as warm-hearted, just as truthful, just as Christ-like, who are not Christians.
What is it that's different. The difference is nothing and at the same time everything.
Those people, those things i've seen were all real, too real that they crushed my heart, broken the faith into pieces. The cornerstone's there. He never moves. He is the only truth and that's why, it is getting too much to bear........
when nothing is left, to help me go on, God, is quietly there to see me cry, hear me asking questions, proving He is God, and the day will come, when there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more confusion, no more hurt, no more doubt, no more suffering, no more death.
when i couldn't see Him, couldn't feel Him, couldn't understand Him, and couldn't do anything to honor Him, once again, He took me to the cross where He gave His everything, and told me even I myself can't take this away from my heart. It is deeply engraved with the blood.
And that night, nothing was certain, nothing was clear, nothing was solved, nothing was comforting, nothing was existed, except the cross He died for the whole world.
生きるために精一杯、今日一日を生き抜くことで精一杯。
i've seen, people shedding tears, hurting for the people they've never met.
i've seen, the hands reached out, to help the ones in need, without asking anything in return.
i've seen, the tears falling, for the pain of seeking the truth was getting too much.
i've seen, people that are just as sincere, just as humble, just as broken, just as loving, just as honest, just as warm-hearted, just as truthful, just as Christ-like, who are not Christians.
What is it that's different. The difference is nothing and at the same time everything.
Those people, those things i've seen were all real, too real that they crushed my heart, broken the faith into pieces. The cornerstone's there. He never moves. He is the only truth and that's why, it is getting too much to bear........
when nothing is left, to help me go on, God, is quietly there to see me cry, hear me asking questions, proving He is God, and the day will come, when there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more confusion, no more hurt, no more doubt, no more suffering, no more death.
when i couldn't see Him, couldn't feel Him, couldn't understand Him, and couldn't do anything to honor Him, once again, He took me to the cross where He gave His everything, and told me even I myself can't take this away from my heart. It is deeply engraved with the blood.
And that night, nothing was certain, nothing was clear, nothing was solved, nothing was comforting, nothing was existed, except the cross He died for the whole world.
生きるために精一杯、今日一日を生き抜くことで精一杯。
幸せが何かなんて考える暇さえない。そんな人こそ本当に幸せなんだろう。守るもの、守る人、与えられた命を腐るまで使い切ろう、政治批判もしない、裸足でボールを追いかけ、喜びに、出会いに、別れに、涙する熱い心を持ち、一生信念を持ち続ける、愛し続ける、諦めない、そんな人が、本当に美しい人だろう。
地位やお金、体裁や世間の目、批判や賞賛、くそくらえ。最期に残るのはこのハートだけじゃないか。
地位やお金、体裁や世間の目、批判や賞賛、くそくらえ。最期に残るのはこのハートだけじゃないか。
2010年12月26日日曜日
【Japan Culture Trip】45 Christmas in Japan 2010
Japanese people celebrate Christmas in a sort of unique way.... :)
2010年12月10日金曜日
【Japan Ride】Shinkansen - 東海道新幹線（有楽町から）
I had never been really interested in trains or airplanes like many guys do. But a friend of mine suggested I shoot a video of train, so one day I gave it a shot.
Shooting a clip of moving object is much more challenging and needs some strategy when you do. Next time I'll try this rare Yellow Shinkansen which is also known as "Dr.Yellow". :)
2010年12月2日木曜日
【Japan Culture Trip】43 Gingko Street Part 2 神宮外苑イチョウ並木パート 2
He was a little creepy but at least he wiped his hands! ;)
2010年11月22日月曜日
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